The Behaviour Specialist came yesterday and we had a very productive meeting.
She didn't know what PDA was, but it didn't matter! She merely asked what behaviours Daisy presents.
So I told her!
She said that regarding the abuse I suffer "we can certainly change that. Make it stop."
I almost hugged her. Three life-changing words, that I wanted to hear, but felt that I never would.
I don't expect a whole new Daisy to emerge from this, because it's ME that will be doing all the hard work. Actually, I don't see it as work...I see it as more of a new challenge and a real opportunity to change things for the better.
I have been invited to join a 10-week course all about behaviour management and get the chance to meet other parents who also suffer abuse from their children. I expect a lot of laughs, a lot of nodding at each other as we realise that we really do have an awful lot in common and, yes, a few tears. It is incredibly difficult to admit even to yourself that your child does not operate in the way that you might have initially expected, and for the parents who have only just received a diagnosis it can be quite devastating. To declare it to a room full of strangers, especially for the first time, can be really emotional as you declare to the world in general that your child has a life-long pervasive disability. It is admitting it to yourself, acknowledging that your life as a parent is never going to be the one you had anticipated.
I read somewhere that a parent likened it to all her friends who had children of a similar age going off to live in Paris, but this particular parent ended up in Holland. Still a nice palce, but not the destination they had in mind. They wanted to be in Paris, but had to learn to appreciate everything Holland had to offer instead and forget about Paris.
For a long time I wanted Paris.....I got Siberia instead! But yeah....Holland is great, although the analogy should have said Nepal as we have so many mountains to climb! Hell, anyone can have Paris!
So, the next step in our journey is to visit the place where the course is held. S (the behaviour specialist) suggested I bring Daisy with me when the course begins as they have a creche there and Daisy would enjoy spending time with the Small Ones as they are completely non-judgmental and love to join in her games.
We go for a recce on Wednesday next week to see S again and get the low-down on where Daisy will be for a few hours every week for 10 weeks!
I am looking forward to it.
More importantly, so is she.